A councilman was furious when the railroad ceased passenger service.
He rushed to the tracks with a blowtorch.
“Next one will stop, like it or not.”
When he stepped over the threshold, every hymnal burst into flame.
That’s what he told his wife.
He took fantasy football that seriously.
After his death, the mean-spirited principal was whisked to Hell.
The eternal lake of fire looked like the school cafeteria.
The couple frowned. The keys of the piano upstairs were again pounding out a tune.
The Steinway was noticeably left behind by the previous owner.
Each had suspected that the instrument was one of those quaint player pianos seemingly found only in Westerns.
They had no such luck.
“A transmission from the Trappist-1 system?”
“We’ve received seven. One from each planet.”
“This is a dream come true!”
“We’re being asked to choose sides in a Trappist interplanetary war.”
“And something on Enceladus has already responded.”